A bit of

It has been a bit of a dance for me.
I have felt sick from the swirling of life going on around me. I felt still jostled and not at all able to find the right rhythm or step.
I have had a bit of euphoria as I plan and purchase gifts for a few very special friends for very major occasions in their lives. But still inside is the bit of sadness and anger at the state of my lack of occasions.
I have spent many sleepless nights thinking of everything and nothing all at the same time. Then spent the days in between going much of the same again.
I feel as if I know the song, the steps and the tempo but am deaf to the beautiful music that is all around me and in fact within me.